Isn't it funny how as our age progresses we expect our maturity level to increase at the same pace? But, if we are honest with ourselves, most of us, at times, still get our feelings hurt at things we know we should just let roll off our backs. Or better yet, when we are in that strange mood we catch ourselves doing things that we wouldn't normally do and end up saying things or doing things that we later regret. Most of us still have the initial flight or fight instincts. We can at times roll with the punches and hide our feelings but occasionally we speak our minds. When we hide our emotions, the hurt can take quite some time to dissipate.
However, when we speak up, sometimes we wish we hadn't. It is like getting together with the person who uses sarcasm as humor. If we say something back, the other person is inevitably wittier and we still end up feeling like a fool. When we don't respond, we quietly slink away only to think of a witty response later. Most of us can analyze our emotions and the cause of a reaction. We typically can cut the other person a break and not take what they said or did personally.
However, there are times when the child in us comes out. Our feelings are hurt. We may do or say something in retaliation.
We may confront the person when we are at our most vulnerable and take action we wish we wouldn't have. We can also, just once in awhile, throw a temper tantrum! Usually though our reactions are a combination of the above. What is important to keep in mind though is we all do it! We all say things we later regret and we all feel like a fool at times.
Some of us are harder on ourselves than others. Some of us have the misguided perception that we are the only ones who feel that way. And, some of us refuse to ever forgive ourselves of our own mistakes. That is the biggest mistake of all.
We all are humans. Humans who live a very busy life and make mistakes. We like to think of ourselves as people who work hard to evolve into the best person we can be but at the same time expect perfection from ourselves and others.
We know of course we aren't perfect and we truly don't expect that from others either. However, at times, we revert back to our pre-mature days and behave accordingly. It is at those moments that we need to take action. The action though must be forgiveness and tolerance. We need to forgive ourselves of our mistakes and forgive those who made us feel bad.
We need to apologize when the situation is called for and accept the apologies of the offenders. And, at times, we need to do nothing at all, just let the moment pass. If the same person repeatedly hurts our feelings, we may need to consider a heart-to-heart talk or contemplate separating ourselves from them as much as possible. Regardless of the required action, we need to give ourselves a break.
Regardless of how mature we think of ourselves, when we revert back to the feelings of a child, we need to tell ourselves that that is okay. It is simply normal that we aren't perfect. In fact, the situation just may give us an insight to do better next time!.
Chris Lowrey lives with her husband and children in Madison, Wisconsin. A mother of four sons and two step-children as well as Editor/Author of Family Time Charm, she commits herself to improving the lives of families and children. For more parent articles, free entertaining stories for children and fun activities for the entire family, visit: http://www.familytimecharm.com
